Kitty Swain Evans
Interviewed on January 29, 2021
Outside under the oak tree during Covid-19

ER: Your Name. What is your nickname? Do you have a childhood nickname?
KSE: I’m Kitty. That is short for Kathryn. My name is Kathryn Frances.
My teachers in middle and high school called me Kathy. I just got tired of correcting them.
If someone called the house and asked for Kathy, we knew they were from school.

ER: What is your favorite saying?
KSE: Discipline is remembering what you want.

ER: Where were you born? Where did you grow up? Where do you call home?
KSE: I was born in Bethesda MD. We lived in a house in Rockville.
My parents came to Florida to visit Dad’s parents every year from Maryland.

I grew up in Plantation. My grandparents moved to Plantation in 1954. My parents moved in 1959. Coral Springs didn’t exist then. We moved into our house Christmas Eve 1959. We lived in the neighborhood between Broward and Sunrise. Between 441 and the Turnpike. Mom sold that house after my Dad passed.

I’m pretty sure that my brother and I, who were born in Maryland, were probably Florida vacation babies. The rest of my siblings were born at Holy Cross Hospital in Ft. Lauderdale. According to Mom the nuns used to take good care of the new moms. They’d sneak them extra sandwiches.

We grew up in Plantation. I raised my own kids in Oakland Park. I’ve lived here 59 of my 65 years. I turned 65 in March. I was a tomboy and played football with the neighborhood boys all year round. I graduated from South Plantation High School in 1974, as part of the 2nd graduating class.

Mom has been living with my sister in Plantation until recently. She has Alzheimers and now is cared for in a memory care unit. I had 2 brothers and 3 sisters. Mom’s last 2 were twin girls. They are 9 years younger than I am. I was the oldest of 6. Five of us are still alive and living in Florida. Sadly we lost 1 brother to leukemia a few years ago.

ER: Where are your parents/grandparents from? How did they influence you today? (big question)
KSE: My parents were both born in Washington, D.C. Both of my paternal grandparents worked for the federal government. My grandfather was a lawyer and my grandmother had an administrative position. My maternal grandmother was widowed when my mom was 7. She worked as the administrative assistant for the head of Bethesda Naval Hospital to support my mom and uncle.

I also had a great aunt who never married. She was going to be a nun but ended up taking care of different relatives. She ended up being the administrative assistant for the head of National Geographic, training several bosses. As a woman without a college education, she did not get to rise to that level.

This is one of the things I tell my girls. When my grandmother turned 21 she couldn’t vote. When my mom was an adult she couldn’t get credit in her own name. If my girls decide they don’t want to get married or have children, there is no pressure. We’ve come so far. They have lots of options that previous generations did not have.

ER: What is your heritage (ethnicity)?
KSE: I am Irish through and through. The dark Irish. Swain genes were really strong. My parent’s marriage would have been considered to be a mixed marriage in Ireland. Dad was Irish Catholic and Mom was Irish Protestant. Of the 6 of us, I was the only one that got my father’s dark hair and dark eyes.

ER: Why do you live here? How did you get here?
KSE: I live in Sebring, Florida now. I bought a mobile home in a 55+ park. I didn’t want to rent but could not get a mortgage. I wanted something to buy outright. It is half snowbirds and half permanent residents. They had really great social activities until Covid happened. Now the snowbirds are back this year except the ones from Canada. I disconnected from all social interaction to protect myself and my older relatives. It was hard. Thankfully I am now fully vaccinated and beginning to re-emerge from my self-imposed shell.

A very memorable lesson I learned growing up is hypocrisy is a lack of honesty. I learned that lesson in a really unique way. I was raised in the Catholic church. My father was an honest, good man. He’d take us to the Catholic church by himself. A lot of people thought he was a widow with 6 kids.

We sang that song, “let there be peace on earth.” every Sunday. We were normal kids who bickered and fought. My father said, “you sing that song every week but then you fight with your brothers and sisters.”

So the next week – without talking to each other – none of us sang the song. We wanted to reserve the right to bicker with our brothers and our sisters. The hypocrisy of “Let there be peace on earth” and then not being peaceful with your siblings. That lesson stuck with me.
Growing up in Florida

You have to go north to be in the south here. When I was a kid I knew people from all over the country. As the area changed I knew people from all over the world. Growing up in this area gives you a really unique perspective. I want to know where people are from. I want to taste the food that they eat. I want to learn about everybody.

When I went on business trips I noticed that there were black and white people. But where were all the colors in between? Growing up here helped me appreciate diversity and different cuisines.

I see myself as Floridian. The only way I might move away from here is if my girls move. I don’t see myself living in Seattle. I couldn’t handle all the rain. I already struggle from November through January. I struggle with depression in the wintertime. Less sun and greater expectations. I’m an ordinary time kind of person.

A friend once gave me a poetry book – Living in Ordinary Times. I like to try things but don’t like the extra expectations of the holidays. Doing something because it happens to be this date. I’d rather give gifts when I want to than it to be an expected obligation.

ER: Do you speak another language?
KSE: I took German in high school and college. I probably should have studied Spanish but I’m a rebellious Kitty. I would like to learn sign language.

ER: What is your favorite color? I love your shirt!
KSE: I like bright colors and different shades of blue. If I had to pick a single color it would be blue.

I am basically an old hippie. I have imagined myself having a long gray braid down the back of my head. I love bright colors. I am ordering a bright green cover for my microphone and speaker.

I love my cross because it has a burial shroud instead of the dead Jesus. I started out as Roman Catholic, then Disciples of Christ, then non-denominational which ended up being evangelical. Then I took a break till I had kids. I wanted to give them the good parts of my upbringing without the bad parts. My mom and my husband were Episcopalians.

We had our oldest daughter baptized and later brought her to Sunday School. The rest is history…we got sucked into the vortex!

I love the Episcopal church. I miss like-minded people here.

ER: Do you have a pet(s)?
KSE: I have my dog, a rescue named Willy, and a kitten named Pickles.

My kids were allergic to cats so I had to wait until I was alone to get my kitten.

My dog is part of me.

She was a street dog in PR after Hurricane Maria. She adopted me. I was looking for something a little smaller – a little younger. Her eyes said, “no, you’re taking me home!” Because of her experience, she has separation anxiety. She sticks with me. She climbed a chain-link fence to look for my car when I left her with someone.

We need each other, don’t we Willy? She’s almost service level trained. She did almost pull my arm out of my shoulder while chasing a muscovy duck yesterday but we are getting there. My daughters named her Wilhelmina, Duchess of Lakeview.

She doesn’t play at all. It must have been a survival thing. I don’t know what it was like for her during the hurricane. She had obviously been part of a lovely family.

When my brother passed away, we took his basset hound. He loved basset hounds. The basset hound passed this past summer. It was my last connection to my brother. He has been gone 5 years.

My brother was gay. He struggled, nearly taking his own life because he didn’t want to be gay. He wanted to get married and have a family like everyone else but his body had other ideas. That’s how I know that it’s not a choice.

I also had an uncle that was gay. He lived in NYC and always bought us the coolest Christmas presents. One year we got fancy kites, one year a boomerang. I had a Peter Max sweatshirt when I was a teenager. It was pretty cool. He died of AIDS.

My daughter and my sister’s daughter had a chance to meet Uncle Buddy. He always seemed more comfortable with kids, probably because he thought they wouldn’t judge. He had a career in theater. I remember him doing Summer stock theater in Pennsylvania. We got to see him while on a family trip. The part that surprised me was the persona he brought home at Christmas time was totally different than his summer theater persona.

ER: Do you have children? How many? How old are they? Tell us about them.
KSE: I have two daughters. Elizabeth Kathryn “Ellie” and Emily Suzanne “Emmie.” Ellie is 34 and Emmie is 24. Now that they are grown up they are really close. I was a little worried because last year my oldest daughter moved to Seattle but with the internet and all the electronic ways you can communicate they maintained a good relationship. Ellie is at the University of Washington. She works for a company that does finance reports for Microsoft.

I was worried that Emily would be upset that her sister moved away. Ellie moved to pursue her second Master’s degree. The first one was an MBA and the second one is MIS (Masters in Information Systems). She graduated from the IB (International Baccalaureate) program in high school.

She is my bookworm child while Emmie is my artsy-craftsy one. In Emily’s case, she tolerated school in order to participate in extracurricular activities like music, dance, and drama. She always loved an audience, performing in dance recitals and school productions. She even formed a couple of bands and wrote some of her own songs. I think one of the reasons they get along so well is because they don’t compete with one another.

God has a sense of humor. I am truly enjoying my kids as adults.

I’ve never been to Seattle. I am going in June for Ellie’s graduation. Their father had lived in Spokane on the other side of the Cascades. He always promised to take me to the Pacific NW but he never did. So I’m taking myself this year.

When Ellie graduates I will fly out there with Em. Eventually, I hope to work my way across the country, driving and towing my camper. I know people – family and from work – all over the country. I hope to just bop along, stopping along the way to explore and to visit with people.

ER: Do you have grandchildren? Tell us about them.
KSE: No, not yet.

ER: What is your passion? What are you doing when you are most happy?
KSE: I enjoy my kids. I enjoy challenges I am able to overcome. I like reading, puzzles, games, and traveling.

ER: Do you have a mission? A reason for doing that which is your passion?
KSE: Now that I am retired I would like to give back. Maybe the NICU, helping to comfort the babies.

Or a driver for the VA. If someone needs treatment at the VA hospital, we provide the van service to bring them, wait for them and bring them back. I have always enjoyed driving.

One of my jobs as a teen was delivering flowers. It was such an interesting job. You walk into a workplace and everyone waits to see who you are delivering to. I delivered to funeral homes. Every funeral home had its quirks. People would also pay to have flowers put on someone’s grave every Saturday. Setting up weddings was fun!

It’s a big deal. It was a really fun job.

ER: What is / was your profession? Is this profession what you were meant to do? Why?
KSE: IT (Information Technology). I fell into the perfect profession for me. Problem-solving has been my forte.

One of the good things about IT is it is always an intellectual pursuit. You can’t stay the same. In order to stay in a career in computers, you have to reinvent yourself on an occasional basis. It would be a kind of arabesque from one skill set to another.

IT changes so quickly. This kept my life interesting. It got to the point where you are doing the same thing over and over but you soon have to reinvent yourself.

Now I am retired. I had planned to work a few more years but with Covid and stuff going on in my life, I ended up retiring this past year. I was really struggling a year ago in November so I took some time off. I actually worked out for the best because my partner in crime in the company that kept me reasonably sane died about 2 months after I retired. She had a brain aneurysm. If I was still working there it would have been a lot harder to deal with. She was working on Thursday and gone Friday morning.

ER: What are you really good at doing? Why?
KSE: I have a good mind and am a critical thinker. It has helped me figure out life problems. When I am feeling bad – logically – I know that this too shall pass. As you get older you realize you just have to wait it out.

I tell people I have a hyperactive mind and a hypoactive body.

Growing up my dad listened to the news every night. Huntley Brinkley. I was always aware of what was going on. In high school, I was lucky to go to “Close-Up.” It was a week-long seminar for high school kids. They let us run around on Capitol Hill talking to anyone who would talk to us. We got to ride on the Senate subway. It was a one-week crash course on how the government worked. It was really really cool.

My senior year of high school I took college classes. The coolest class I ever took was a government class at night. I was the youngest student at 17 but all ages took the class.. Up to 70. Taking a government class with people from different eras was really interesting.

Have you ever heard of the Curse of Cassandra? Cassandra was a mythological woman who had the gift of being able to see the future. The curse was that no one would ever believe her. Because I watched all the news I predicted things would happen. No one believed me.

ER: What do you do that might change the world? Why?
KSE: I try to live in a Christ-like way and only use words if absolutely necessary. There are many un-Christ-like people that are holy rollers. It goes right to my views on hypocrisy.

I strive to respect the dignity of every human being as stated in our baptismal covenant. That’s the way I want to live my life. I want to be a positive influence on the people around me.

I am not looking to change the world but just change the world around me. It might ripple out some.

ER: What makes you feel like part of a community? Why?
KSE: I moved to Sebring in 2018.

One of the reasons I moved to Sebring is that it is more affordable. Another reason was I needed to let go of the decision-making process on how to take care of my mom. I am far enough away to be out of the daily care but close enough that I can get here when I need to. I know we all want what is best for her but sometimes we don’t see eye-to-eye on what that looks like.

I am not living in the sticks. But, I get back down here and get in traffic and think, “Oh, I remember!” I used to drive from Oakland Park to Sawgrass every day.  I also spent years driving downtown every day, to different jobs.

When people get put too close together they seem to lose civility. I like the space and friendliness in Sebring. Down here people are so close together you get aggravated. Limited space makes some people put a box around themselves. Many people become more standoffish when living on top of each other. Sebring reminds me of a less crowded and simpler time in Broward County.

ER: What is the most interesting thing you have ever done?
KSE: My family used to go camping. My mom and I always tried the local cuisine. I always tried it unless it was really spicy. I am usually willing to try something that I have not had before.

I like new experiences. Something might turn out to be my favorite thing.

I’ve always been willing to try new things, even if I was scared. That has shaped my personality. I have always loved to travel and have gone on numerous business trips by myself. I plan to go camping by myself in the coming years. I am lonely now. I miss having company. Just because I don’t have someone to go with doesn’t mean I won’t do something that interests me.

ER: What is your greatest accomplishment?
KSE: My greatest accomplishment is my girls. I battled with my hearing and depression challenges. My girls’ resilience makes me proud. My children used to have to help me on the phone with their dad because of my hearing loss. It was kind of like translating. You do lose something in the interaction. They know to always seek out solutions to live a happy life.

I hope that I have raised my kids to have empathy. But I hope that they don’t have so much that it cripples them. They need to protect their own interests. You want them to be aware of other people’s feelings but you also don’t want them taken advantage of.

I am very proud of my girls. Both of them are scrappers, survivors. Our life has been a roller coaster. Whatever happens to them they will figure out a way to make it work.

ER: What are your regrets? Your What ifs?
KSE: What ifs? You make the best decisions you can with the information at hand. It becomes what makes you who you are.

ER: What are your struggles?
KSE: Hearing problems – Cochlear Implants.

I have cochlear implants. My hearing is way better than it was with the hearing aid. I was at the point where I probably would have lost my job when I got my implants. It bought me another 5 years. I was the primary support for the family.

I also got the implants because I was losing music. I had a weird type of hearing loss to start out with. It’s called reverse slope. I couldn’t hear the bass at all. Even when I was a kid my Dad used to play Dixieland music and ask me if I could hear the bass line. No. I would put my hand on the speaker and I could feel it but I couldn’t hear it.

But I could hear a mosquito.

As my hearing got worse I couldn’t hear thunder. I warned my kids to get out of the pool when they heard thunder. I couldn’t hear it. The first time I heard thunder after I had my implants I was taking the train. I had gone to the VA to get a mapping, updating the internal programs.

I was sitting at the Tri-rail station. A thunderstorm was coming up. The first time…that might be thunder. The second time…WOW! I just heard thunder! When I was a kid I could hear it to a certain extent. When you see lightning and count till the thunder. I hadn’t heard it in years unless it was rattling the windows. The next Christmas I went to midnight mass and could hear the trombones! I was so thrilled.

I can hear with my cochlear implants but I still sometimes depend on lip-reading. It’s not as good as normal ears. It’s a piece of electronic equipment. It’s way better than hearing aids and that is way better than unassisted.

I’ve always had ringing in my ears. I thought at least when I go deaf I won’t have the ringing in my ears. When you lose your hearing you still have the ringing in your ears but you won’t be able to drown it out. Darn!

I am very observant because I have to know what is going on around me. I spend a lot of time looking at people’s faces because I read lips. That gives me a different perspective on things. It shows me who you are – your strengths and weaknesses and how you live your life.

ER: What are your greatest adventures?
KSE: I am hoping my best adventures are yet to come. I have a tiny little camper, basically a tent on wheels. I see myself traveling. Willy and me – exploring the US, visiting friends and family. Willy helps me even on my worst days.

My mom and I took many road trips together. It was so much fun! Those memories will sustain me as she slips away from us. My mom is 89. She’s been on her own since she was 65.

I spent a couple of years in the Air Force. I joined the Air Force 5 days before my 20th birthday. My duty was as a  mainframe computer operator when computers were housed in big data center buildings. That’s how I got started with computers and information technology. Through the USAF I got to see Texas and Ohio.

It also ended up giving me my career. I was originally supposed to be a gas jockey for jet planes but I had manual dexterity and coordination issues. I also had cross dominance (right/left) issues. I wasn’t that good with the tools. Then they moved me into computer operator training.

I always liked puzzles when I was a kid. It segued right into working with computers including troubleshooting and problem-solving.